where did i break? and what has pulled me through this far?

i am

a renown conversationalist

a love addict

a hermit and also a superb extrovert

the original talker

a sweet one

occasionally genius

and the repeat lazy person

a talent star

and a talent garbage man

an armor minus the shining

a steel

a catch

a thrown thing

an experiment

a changeling

a two way street

the dream you had when you were a child

a poorly made joke

trying

i am trying

but at my own pace and in my own way and

not good enough

i am not good enough

look at all the things that have come true for me

all the blown out candles that sparked

something

i am something

all those wishes that turned into goals that turned into what now’s

all those times i closed my eyes and prayed that this year that

and that was often and almost always love

and look at all the love

and look at yourself in the mirror

and what now

and who

and for how long

and when

just when