the five empty spaces in a crowded city

one:

i have an empty space 

on my pinned conversations

on the imessage app 

would you like to be there 

for me when i’m crying 

i have an empty space 

on the left side of my bed 

because i prefer the wall

to shield me from the morning sun  

but the wall is yours if you want it 

i have an empty space 

in the pockets of my jeans 

in the winter time 

when my hands get frozen 

i’ll sew your fingers to my pockets darling 

i have an empty space 

in the toothbrush holder 

another one more hole 

for when we drink too much wine 

and your teeth turn red from the loving 

i have an empty space 

on my body for a tattoo 

maybe your name on my skin 

will make my mother hate me more 

or maybe your name will change things 

i have an empty space 

on tuesday’s in between classes   

so we can run into each other 

and still not know how to act 

how to lace our arms while everyone watches 

i have an empty space 

on the first page of my first book

a dedication waiting 

for a worthy inspiration 

to be published in times new you 

i have an empty space 

on my electric guitar 

where my favorite string broke 

from playing too much your favorite song 

but i think the notes of your perfume will do

i have an empty space 

in the dream catcher by my door 

waiting for your dreams to visit 

feel free to speak them 

my dream catcher was once a therapist 

two: 

i have an empty space 

in this one organ where you rest your head 

the doctors said i was early 

eager to love the world 

even with empty spaces

eager to fill those spaces with worlds 

but then you imessage me that 

heart murmurs whisper i love you 

and i no longer have an empty space 

on my pinned conversations

on the imessage app 

and there is no empty space 

between our organs 

when i begin to cry 

and we no longer forget how to act 

when the space is not empty 

and everyone watches 

and there are no empty first pages 

or even first books 

because it turns out 

i wrote all the books i was going to write 

when you kissed me for the first time 

and there are no empty tuesday’s 

or friday’s or sunday’s 

because there are no more days 

because the weeks decided 

they did not want to pass you by 

empty 

three:

and if the weeks ever hear the guitars  

saying they want more strings 

saying they have empty spaces 

then the weeks would take time 

back to the time before music existed

back to the time before crowded cities 

and leave an empty space in the world  

four:

i touch where you have empty spaces 

five: you leave